Stories from My Youth: IV - The Taste of Failure
Do you know how failure tastes like? Remind yourself that instance, and try to zero into that moment when you have found out that you have fail. What was your reaction?
You should remember that cool afternoon, when all your schoolmates were lining up inside the concrete yard under the five old trees. Principle Tam called each individual class to their class. As you were waiting impatiently you find your grade 3 homeroom teacher, Mr. Jon, whispering into your classmates' ears something, then each student reacted differently: the reactions ranged from joyous tears to despairing laughter to utter indifference. Then you remembered: yes, Mr. Jon is whispering each student's ranking in the class. The report cards were coming out next week, and everyone was eager to know how they fared this term.
As you have done well in your previous two years, never falling out of the top five of the entire grade, you prided yourself, and boosted to your friend that you would again be in top five for this new year. Mr. Jon slowly approached you, and you, with expectation, lent your ear to hear those devastating words: 17th.
17th?! That is impossible!
Do you remember how those words pierced into your pride for the first time in your life? Do you remember how immediately tears flooded your vision? There was no sound afterwards, but the constant echoes of "17 - 17 - 17". Oh do not try to erase or alter your memory: you cried that day, because for the first time in your life you feel like a failure. You cried, but not out loud ("boys don't cry!"). But it hurt you, didn't it? You have fallen out of your elite place in your class. It felt terrible to be bad and weak, not noble and good.
As the failure shattered your pride, however, you resolved yourself to take action. You are noble, good, and it does not suit you to be a weakling. Hence you had decided to do your very best from now on. Unlike some of your peers, who were jealous of your success, you would not be envious; instead of evil contemplation, you would act out your rage at your own weakness. You would strive to become the best. You hardened yourself against such failures, and as a result, by the end of the year, you had become the strong one again, the top five, the noble and the good.
But that bitter taste of failure, how can you forget it?
You should remember that cool afternoon, when all your schoolmates were lining up inside the concrete yard under the five old trees. Principle Tam called each individual class to their class. As you were waiting impatiently you find your grade 3 homeroom teacher, Mr. Jon, whispering into your classmates' ears something, then each student reacted differently: the reactions ranged from joyous tears to despairing laughter to utter indifference. Then you remembered: yes, Mr. Jon is whispering each student's ranking in the class. The report cards were coming out next week, and everyone was eager to know how they fared this term.
As you have done well in your previous two years, never falling out of the top five of the entire grade, you prided yourself, and boosted to your friend that you would again be in top five for this new year. Mr. Jon slowly approached you, and you, with expectation, lent your ear to hear those devastating words: 17th.
17th?! That is impossible!
Do you remember how those words pierced into your pride for the first time in your life? Do you remember how immediately tears flooded your vision? There was no sound afterwards, but the constant echoes of "17 - 17 - 17". Oh do not try to erase or alter your memory: you cried that day, because for the first time in your life you feel like a failure. You cried, but not out loud ("boys don't cry!"). But it hurt you, didn't it? You have fallen out of your elite place in your class. It felt terrible to be bad and weak, not noble and good.
As the failure shattered your pride, however, you resolved yourself to take action. You are noble, good, and it does not suit you to be a weakling. Hence you had decided to do your very best from now on. Unlike some of your peers, who were jealous of your success, you would not be envious; instead of evil contemplation, you would act out your rage at your own weakness. You would strive to become the best. You hardened yourself against such failures, and as a result, by the end of the year, you had become the strong one again, the top five, the noble and the good.
But that bitter taste of failure, how can you forget it?
posted by Tristan at 11:10 p.m.
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